Back to song writing

trust fund:

-Got the long beard and PBR
but thats not who we are
more than these skinny jeans,
thrift-store boots
vintage guitars-
Chrous- cuz long beards
PBR
come on baby girl,
let's selfie our tattoos then head out to
the local bar

-If you check me out online
Ill talk about
going down
because thats the thing to do
these days-
Chorus- Long beards - PBR 
North, South , East,West
we are taking over
your whole fucking town
-Coffee drinking
beanie wearing
Lana Del rey can kick your
sorry ass son of bitch
Chrous LONG BEARD- PBR 
oh gosh golly neck and hand tattoos -  you'll go far
pussy eating 
pizza loving
shitty music listening
as long as we don't admit it
they won't know , wont know
Grew out a long beard-  money for PBR

blinked and missed it

-whisper and you can not hear me
spilling words dull and sleepy
I am calling all you
sinking ships,
swollen lips
grinding hips-
swimming into the depths of our darkness
i asked for one truth-
two lies -
what of us?



-wear my mask
you can not see
me
Anonymous
if you've never seen me
before-
you'll never see me.
if youve never read
between the lines
you'll never
hear me.   

We could be magic , but..........

Lotta ink and a name like
Daddy
self proclaim
promote, to what end?
or I could just shut up and get back to the mountain
but what fun is
a blank space
when you should be in
it. 

givin head to girls
is like something new?
or is it every jack rod guy just has to do
whatever the latest thing is it they are supposed to
do? 
now he is gonna hate on those couple pics that get a million likes
why?
you know the ones with tattoos and skinny bitches entwined

in a bed or bath tub
SO FUCKING fake
but go ahead.  "life goal" it all you want
 
a self respectful gentlemen
fighting off the thirsty
but breaks the rules
for hungry, and 
when did 
BIG ass become a franchise?
Im going to put my words through a harmonizer
so you like
me better. 
everything once haunted
is now out in the open

boring and exposed
when secrets are no longer
secrets
then we are only left with
lies. 

You get what you deserve - you get what you ask for

to many late nights trying to figure it all out
futility in
letting you
futility in
not letting
you.
go.


made a sunshine smile at me in line at the store
thought about her all day long
a simple stranger glances no longer than a blink
and I  played house with her
all day long in my head. we kiss we hold hands
and i lie because
I am doing things to her-
fucking , choking, scratching , biting - holding her down
and this feels like some type of crime
that i will never ever ever pay for
we claw and grasp
and we are rough and filthy
and it's our secret. 
so we don't stop. 

Indian Feathers

  1. 
The heart wants what it doesn't and when it does you're fucked. The dark sky in Fall kicks back as winter blows into town somewhere but not here. I'm to far down South. I imagine she sits by a fire with him, tied up in ribbons and bows. Let me think that at night in bed she dreams of escape.

 2.
  There is a sting in my heart and poison in my veins. I want to remember  her smile and laugh and whatever.... it's nothing. I keep thinking back to the road trips and sex in hotel rooms. Just moving each other up and down side to side always there and  somewhere else.



3.
  She kisses me and the stars shine. I wanted a religion where i could suspend my disbelief. I'm glad i can hear the sound track so loud in my head. I can hear my words as if they are being typed out one after other. I'm living in my life but not living it. A bad actor, to shy, to afraid to make a mistake or be embarrassed. Hide behind lines I've written days ago and keep coming back to over and over again.  

 

words are for sleeping

im supposed to make myself want the money more
than bloody hands
and bruises
working fields or
sailing the seas.
She told me 
a Gentleman isn't gentle at all.

content to watch what life could
be like-- as you scroll scroll scroll
tick tock tick
sleep sleep sleep. 
stare at a thin layer of glass
in hopes to find your true love- or at least a true fuck
within that same thin layer
look for something to covet
to buy,
to be pissed off about.
hey, if you 
show me your best photo of yourself
ill show you mine
I'll put my words up against all the others
copy paste any biography
tell me something i haven't heard
before
any different game on some different night
all the same
just to help
me
sleep. 

Grave Swingers - Shallow and Deep

trouble:
god she was
trouble, trouble, trouble-
and i
did the drugs to close you inside
and i caught the rain to flood
you out
i kissed your knees
i licked your lips
trouble , trouble , trouble

 gone:
cant find home
thought it was the waves,
thought it was the mountains
thought it was money and
sex and
the music on your playlist
darling
just tell me you'd live
in my sound-track
and it's took me all these years
ive finally settled down
and im ready
to love
you  
and youre
gone

easy in the country:
woman to cook my food and clean
my clock
thought it was easy as it all
comes and goes 
time moves me
out the door
where the money flows
the blood flows
writing  was  wine
drunk e n 
rides on country back roads
promises made to be broken
bones in our skin
bones in the ground
we were
and it was
easy 

Half Life

  
    Time off from work last week and stole the labor day holiday too.  Back on the island it was bottles of rum and whatever seafood fell from the ocean. Sucked, Shucked and more drinks. Salt , Salt , Salt.  Must have biked the entire island. But you have to know good things aren't cheap, though the hotel stay on the beach was free from points on my Freedom card. Freedom- ha.
   
     Back to the grind, working out 6 days a week, 40 minute drives each way to and back from work. Me and this middle class work ethic- like every other addiction.  Whatever it is , will it ever be enough?
   
   I like sun-screen that won't rub off and smells like coconut and lime. I like my hair to feel sun-soaked and like straw at the end of the day from the boat and beach. Shower off and can taste the salt on my lips. Drip dry in the freezing cold air conditioned hotel room. Slightly rum drunk - as much a pirate as Ill ever be.  Pillage and plunder her.  

   I never give up on the possibilities of us. I live half my life here and the other half somewhere with you.  

so , how's your life ?

summer won't end here seems to last forever.  I hear about your fall, your pumpkin
spice, your winter snow. It's just something in a song to me, something on t.v.

summer won't fade here, and now I made a mess of everything. even my memories of you are just faded scars. Can't bring back the best parts i thought i knew.  It's just a jerk-off once in awhile thinking back to fucking you. I guess thats something?-  but nothing to write about.


 

Just because your gone -I've been an wanted man
make my self pay by working to long
by carrying a gun, drinking all night
and havin' fun-
remember the nights we used to stay up late
you taught me how to write
like this
words in the mist
words that miss
miles and miles
reflective lies 
repetitive lines 
only
one road
leading back
to you .   

Fists bruised punching air

The last hotel room where we met
numbers on doors
slide the key card  throw our clothes to the floor
tried to make it worth it
sex like every time is our last time

live your life with no regrets
you and your mouth
of diamonds and lies
sweet
sweet  sweet
the novelty of our age difference
the novelty of us
of no self control
us
against them

more so for the attention
the photos you take and let everyone see
spread yourself all over
everything
everyone
and me
so hard not to believe
this was all for
you 
 

secrets tonight

 summer rain falling in the late afternoon. you told me you would smell the wet sheets after I left. some fucking sex you have to wash out before he gets home.  I would be driving back South and couldn't text you fast enough to say what a great time- my good time girl. we should do it again or maybe we shouldn't maybe we should stop.  how many times we tried to stop. until we did?
 the stars had to align for us to get our chances. the lies lining up with our truths. Taken hearts are far less demanding. any room will do. Rooms with numbers, rooms with clothes lying on the floor. any dark room with the door locked.  We are far more fearless and forgiving. Sailor mouths BIG on words BIG on words. 

and then we were done ( very short stories and wonder mints)

 

-the devil wants to take you back to split wrists and paper money wads. $$$ living your dreams on borrowed time. I'm charging up my space ship \\\ Stuck in a rut with same ol same old. Internet hype bottled like milk. drink it up.  No expiration date.

- Maybe you'll like the taste of Robots?

   I remember when i was in school and you sat up there with your MBA in writing and said all my stories sounded like a horny teenager. But,  thats what i was....fucker. So I never grew up.  

         - This was all just and experiment. one drug for another. one distraction over next to get over you.

-my mind was always on overtime - to much oxygen to my brain. to much breathing. couldn't calm down without someone to love.  Whats it like to be the Captain of this ship?

 

-  A younger women on your arm is like walking around with the feeling of wearing the best clothes  and eating the best meal you could ever imagine all at once.  High Voltage is the only way i can make you understand this. 

-The devil wished he could take it all back, say it wasn't her who could not resist.  It wasn't so bad the way it was before.  He wished he never started his shit.  Look - Its a full time job, there is no end  and It's fucking exhausting.   

if it could be like this;  you would be good and i would be good  and we would be each others everything and then 

we were done.    

We spent July at the sea and the summer seemed to last forever

whatever this desire i have to sink. 
It's when I feel my body as a vessel
speaking, thinking, thinking, thinking
always learning.
as a blanket of inked skin over bones
one day to be
burned and set out to sea.

and then light pours through 
my window and I fall into
line
flowers bloom - like a religon
i keep this devotion to falling in love
with every girl
i see.
and everything about money, and work
and happiness seems like
such a lie.
 
whatever my hands
do to keep from shaking,
Write something she
can take inside of her
and keep secret.
make another promise within
a promise
keeping thinking
skin over bone
keep looking at the tattoos on my
hands, keep hitting the keys-------snap snap snap

Creature Fear

The doors are locked
the lights are off. 
Feeling lost without
you
sometimes-maybe
okay- 
what i miss most
is 
getting to use
my sailor mouth.
going down.
the murky lake
of memories.

Going down on you

m staring out the window watching a plane fly over our building while the boss is pointing at pie-charts and spreadsheets. SSSSSSSSSSSSVOOOOOOOOMMMMMM!

“Sales are down. We need to make a push or (in a don’t blame me voice) corporate will start asking for head-count.”

This contradicts the fact we just added three new outside and one inside sales.  Come join us on our sinking ship? Perhaps we should give it a few months and see what happens when these guys actually put feet on the on 500 degree street.  Have I mentioned its fucking HOT is South Florida.

   Another plane makes its approach for landing its so loud it covers the robotic drone of manager rhetoric. Not like I was listening anyway. My sales have doubled since I was moved here. I’ve already begun packing for a road-trip in my head. But, the planes coming and going remind me of you. Coming and going.  I keep trying to see you again.  If you could get away- would you? Maybe you can come down here? I keep trying to find the quickest way to shore off my sinking ship.  Feel that high again. Going down on you.  Crash and burn.  

All we do in summer

Give me

the lost

at sea dream

tonight

there are

a million  

reasons

I think back

to her

and some of

them not even

sex

sex

sex

I swim through

gallons of

Salt water

Searching

for solid

Ground

Out of the sky

like a blue-bird

Write to me

your sex -swim-

sex

 

Pulling out of Poetry

Whatever the heart wants....
Well, Ive got to tell you
I'm always waiting to long to tell her.
The ones ive told 
while penetrating
both body and soul
I'd say , hardly the place
for big decisions.
to pull out or not to pull out
that should
be
the only
question in life.
Whatever my heart wants
you can ask the bluebird
that Bukowski never
lets out
all night I sit here drunk on the words
the whores
and the
dreams
that never die.
Ive had my fair share of pulling out
and not.
but, 
this time
I
think i will 

Wonder Lust

you told me 
secrets in
and out
when my finest moments
were inside
you.

i mistook your words
for gold. 
consider them
as if you spoke
to clouds
or hide them away inside of 
stars.


just don't look up,
when it's
raining down
lies. 
 
============================


vapor trails 
of all
our
make
believe

Words are for Sleeping

Looks like an April road-trip-
Days-off  from work approved. Tattoo appointment in N.C. scheduled. Tickets for shows purchased.
It will be Lydia Loveless up in Asheville, NC. and on the way back home gonna catch
The Avett Brothers at the House of Blues in Orlando, Fl.  All the in between isn't worked out, like where to stay, hike, camp, cabin. Gotta leave somethings to chance. 

 -


It will soon be summer-
 The short lived cold spell is over down here- back to the Heat.
all the attitudes. the short fused tempers that make this place
just so special. .
clouds. clouds. rain.
Shiny condos sealed shut until next year.
beach cottages in Kool-Aid colors-
It leaves you,

sea shelled and boat dizzy,
the tourists pack up
to go home.

There are no false prophets under the sea

and you were over here,
you were under me.
When my bed became
our church
as we ached for
salvation.
When words
poured down like rain
so thirsty
we 
drank from them 
so empty
we let them
drown
us. 

What mistakes?

Whatever that is:

I want to come up there
kiss you on you your Mid-West
smart mouth
and have
winter sex with you.
 

Like a worn in t-shirt:

turned out my favorite
color
was you
and I keep wanting to wear
you
over and over.


Like a glove:

I know we fit.
doesn't matter im
so much - well, slightly older-
with sometimes scratchy beard

faded tattoos
mixed with the new
ones we collect
together.
like the bruises
 I give to you .
We have some kind of chemicals
or maybe its your ass
I just want to spank
and tell you
things, like how I fit into you.
and that we are drugs
and summer
and winter snow
and this sounds like bullshit
but its our
bullshit
it's our starry night
when all of sudden
all our nothings
become
something.

One Fathom above Sea level

    Here is what happens-  The flu kicks my ass the last week of the new year. I lacked interest in writing,  jerking off, working out, scrolling and scrolling through your stuff to hopefully see that pic of you that turns me on- so, 
..all the things I normally love so much.
I miss Creeping her.

 But, like a good Sea-monster soldier. Like a vampire. I live again. I changed the names on my blogs out of being bored. Something nautical and that makes more sense to the direction of where I live and swim and breathe. I'm sick of being a fathom above sea-level. Its time to get back in the dirt. Underwater.

I filed my Taxes today- I decent return and all the money is going into Road-trips, adventures and tattoos.  This years philosophy is to stop buying things and start buying experiences. I have several ideas of where I want to go and a few Tattoo artists in each region. Just have to see how the timing of the bookings work in relation to where and when Ill be.    

Shipwrecked Sailor

I'm a shipwrecked sailor on an island near the sea.
 
Randomness-
I'm not gonna say I was the first to appreciate a fine ASS. Big butts. But, have you seen my Flickr page? Do you not know that I started many years ago  perfecting the art of photographing  the mystery and curves of  the female butts? So much so, I think you should ask me over to take a picture of yours.

I'm a shipwrecked sailor
with bright tattoos
of places
ive never been
because im stuck here
like you.
I've been thinking of swimming
over
but the sharks
but the jellyfish
but the,
excuses
and rum. 
I'm building a boat. 
Ive survived on my thoughts of
her,
but over time they are fading.
i want something
real
the cannon fire
the smoke
and revery
I want the treasure
she's
hiding
draw me a map. X mark the spot.
I want to pillage and plunder
her body
and mind.
 





  

Start of something

 

 It has been the longest silence since this began. Then I realize there is no-  this. no - us. Something to start the year off. The lack of ....the need of....you. something. this. us.  The breath between words.