Saturday, November 21, 2015
The heart wants what it doesn't and when it does you're fucked. The dark sky in Fall kicks back as winter blows into town somewhere but not here. I'm to far down South. I imagine she sits by a fire with him, tied up in ribbons and bows. Let me think that at night in bed she dreams of escape.
There is a sting in my heart and poison in my veins. I want to remember her smile and laugh and whatever.... it's nothing. I keep thinking back to the road trips and sex in hotel rooms. Just moving each other up and down side to side always there and somewhere else.
She kisses me and the stars shine. I wanted a religion where i could suspend my disbelief. I'm glad i can hear the sound track so loud in my head. I can hear my words as if they are being typed out one after other. I'm living in my life but not living it. A bad actor, to shy, to afraid to make a mistake or be embarrassed. Hide behind lines I've written days ago and keep coming back to over and over again.