Thursday, November 26, 2009

longest kiss of the year

there were storms today.
after the storms,
a slight change in temperature.
tingly skin.
the longest kiss of the year.

the devils hand reaches-
to remind me of you.
please, i said.
"whisper me
the words of your god."

Sunday, November 22, 2009

dangerous with a pen

this is what i used to do while at work when things were slow. i gave myself 15 minutes to come up with and draw something or else id go back to working. It was to replace what i'd normally do when it was slow, which was to go online and read her journal, look for porn or other eye candy, download music, or write something stupid on one of my own journal things. Hey, It was more productive than jerking off in the corporate bathroom stall. (although that would have been quicker and felt better)

silly drawings are another form of getting the extra noise out of my head. like everything else that would flow from a pen or in this case a sharpie it ends up just another way for me to bleed.

I had this idea that anyone could come up with a little saying and draw a picture to go along with it. it's easy right? when i see it, it looks easy enough and except for the drawing part and coming up with cute lines. I did okay. I guess. nothing that's going to end up on a t-shirt stretched out across some girls tattooed chest or put up on someones kitchen wall, but that wasn't really my goal. It was 15 minutes of distraction. I moved on to something else before i had the chance to learn how to draw a decent robot. I'm not sure what it was, i haven't drawn anything for a long time. there is a good chance that's it for the year so i wanted to see them all in one place. now that i have, I'll move on to something else.

Saturday, November 7, 2009

Be good or be Gone

the other tragedy- I'm yours but hopelessly romanticize every situation.
at the grocery store i look into other peoples baskets and when i catch someone looking into mine i wonder if we all don't fall in love a little.
just between produce and dairy. the smell of candy, of fresh baked bread.
At check-out our carts lightly touch. her bug bitten legs. my chipped finger nail polish left on since Halloween. its my job to notice. its my story to tell. we browse the magazines while waiting our turn: new chewing gum, new fade diets, flu-scares, celebrity faces, horoscopes.
she pays. i pay. we go about our separate ways. our separate lives.
a quick glance, a slight smile enough to know it isn't just me.

it was who she was in the dark, cigarettes and mumbled sleep and a hundred other things nameable and not.

the devils in me. sadness. no reason- maybe the radio.
cellos. calamity.
maybe I'm not sad.
this could be calm.
this could be what soothing feels like.
this could be me without noise. i listen to my inside voice. no echo.
the vibrations are a hum.

the trouble with everything is how suddenly it could turn to nothing. every candy a toothache in a fancy wrapper.

a book filled with poetry and fuck stories. my lies. our lies. our nothing.
the devil is loose in my heart and she likes it rough. like it was in your room the night you let me stay. A sunny skied morning turned a starry night.
whatever she says. whatever god says.
whatever the darkness tells me to do.
after dreaming i write to her. i want to click send and open old wounds.
she fucked the words out of me.
I'm sorry.
the vibrations are a hum. good bye again.
This is us. this is how we follow through.