Thursday, March 29, 2012

my wait is u

They moved me. i was working at the new job for a month and they moved me to the main branch which is 18 more miles of over 4 dollar a gallon gasoline and toll roads away. highway miles,  high speed day dreams. Though its further it takes the same amount of time because of the open road. No red lights. No school zones. I shift from lane to lane on cruise control. I tell myself i wont tap on the break no matter what. slower cars , an 18 wheeler.  whatever I play games in the early morning barely light and then on the way home at 4:30. Several pay checks in the bank, i like buying the sneakers and wine again. maybe i should have been putting it away. There isn't much going on at this branch, its in the middle of nowhere. slow slow slow..its all i here all day from the sales dept, the managers, the corporate emails. So why did they hire me a month ago when they didn't even need me. I can't figure anything out anymore. Its all just experience for the next BIG thing. So far Ive learned a new wholesale supply industry computer system, been certified driving a stand-up lift (order picker),  and actually made 100 dollars commission in the short time i was at the other store just doing my job. Selling electrical and data products. Guess, we all cant be as busy as an Apple store or Starbucks in the morning. Hopefully, something turns around soon in the construction market or I have a feeling Corporate will come down and make sweeping and radical changes. They always do.
I knew this job with its good pay, 401k , vacation, all those wonderful things Ive never had before was probably to good to be true.

Like the when you're with someone and you know its going to good and she's pretty and funny and fucks like a whore but she's yours , at least most of the time and then you re like-  this doesn't happen. this doesn't happen to me. this good shit. and then you think it and of course it becomes true. it's what you fucking wished for.
So i wish all good things. for me and you and everyone. someone to fuck you good, to pay you good and job you LOVE so much its not like work. It's like fun. its like fucking. it's like i always told her.
everything should be like


Sunday, March 18, 2012

when you noticed your ghost

It's so warm today it could be summer. She empties the drawers and lays out her dresses. Cotton soft, bright and clingy.  It could be oblivion. We ride our bikes when the sun starts to fall. The breeze through her hair and dress, breaks every bone in my body. It's warm, my bones heal, my blood is blue through my skin. Red outside where the air touches it, where the lies and sweat and wine flows.

New noises: baby cries, dogs barking, the high-pitched whistle of our dented tea kettle. Perfect in it's imperfection. The last few notes of a song you recommended. Am I the ghost you wanted me to be?

The heat sticks to the pavement like a summer dress to skin. Neon lights and palm tree sway. Tourists on spring-break pack hotels and emergency rooms with sunstroke. To many beers with lime and key west shrimp. Tits bouncing to the reggae beat. There are more clothes off than on. Tattoos telling the stories of each others lives. The salt water draws them in. The briny air and art deco moon. 

Sunday, March 4, 2012

Open roads - Shooting stars: KELLY KNAGA (photographer) Interview


The road leads to nowhere. The road leads to everywhere. It's endless. It brings me to you. In the dream I have of the Midwest the sky is blood orange and hazy there are falling leaves and snow- white as a blank page. Everything is shot through a smoky lens and everything feels like home.  Back roads and power-lines, highways, road trips, rail road tracks. I want to live in the endless possibilities found in the photographs of Kelly Knaga.

Good Winter (GW): What do you love about photography?  
kelly knaga (kk):The small quiet moments.

GW: What do you remember about taking your very first photograph?  
kk: Sadly, I don't remember what that photo was but I distinctly remember finding my first Polaroid camera on my grandmother's dresser and some packs of film in her dresser drawer that hadn't been used in years. She gladly gave them to me.

GW: Tell us where you grew up and what you like most about where you live?
kk: Some of my most favorite times were spent on my grandparents farm. I loved helping my grandfather with the animals and working with my grandmother in her giant garden. But I also loved exploring and going on these small adventures alone or with my 3 brothers.

GW: What are some things that inspire you in and around your town?
kk:The never ending back roads. I like getting lost on them early in the morning just as the sun is coming up over the fields.

GW: What makes you crazy?  
kk:Lately? Photos of girls laying around in sweaters and panties. 

GW: Favorite books?
kk: Any book I can hold in my hand. My (other) grandfather was a librarian and an avid book collector and it rubbed off on me.

GW: Four favorite places?
 kk: I'm an outdoor girl so I have to say Nevada, California, Utah and New Orleans – they're each filled with history and adventure. And heat. I'm pretty big on warm climates
GW: What music are you currently running on your playlist?
kk: Tycho's latest is what I've been listening to recently. That as well as Mouth Dakota and Phish. I know, a weird combo of music perhaps. I think I'm really missing those lazy summer days and nights. But Wilco, Built to Spill, Bob Dylan are always close at hand.

GW: Who's photography do you admire most?
kk: I honestly don't think I have a most. There's so many photographers I admire for so many different reasons.

GW: Describe a good winter.
kk: A good winter is one spent in a warm climate.

GW: What cant you live without? 
kk: My friends and family. It may sound cliché but it is the truth.


GW: 4 things that you collect?  
kk: I've actually learned to stop collecting so much stuff. It's just too much...well, stuff. But I still spend quite a bit of cash on books, music and art. And I usually pick up rocks from every place I go to record a memory.

GW: What do you want to be when you grow up?  
kk: Exactly what I am now: A farmer-designer-photographer-teacher. But maybe a park ranger too.

GW: whats your secret?  
kk: That I know how to keep secrets : )