Why is abbreviated such a long word?

It's her daughters birthday. She turns 14. I go birthday shopping with them at the outdoor mall. I suggest Urban Outfitters but they go skipping off to Hot Topic. I mean she is 14 , I understand. There is nothing in there for me anymore. The clothes to dark and hip, the girls to young. The walls are full of t-shirts with bands. some i know. most I don't. Goofy looking Tripp pants with zippers and chains and well, the Gloomy Bear stuff didn't look so bad.

A gothy looking girl is reading Catcher in the Rye behind the counter and looks puzzled. Should i be working? changing the music?. I'm bored to beat the band. This is what I imagine her thinking. only with a girly inside voice.

It turns out she has to ring stuff up. It seems the birthday girl has selected two arm loads of clothes, arm warmer things, make-up and an Alice in Wonderland book bag just for fun. But she says she really needs the bag because someone wrote LESBO on hers at school.
Wow. Kids are still dill holes. I say.
She laughs. Everything i say is funny to her. My archaic old guy slang. ridiculous.

The birthday dinner. That wasn't so bad. Sushi. Vegetarian Sushi for them and a tempura dessert. She had Tempura oreo's with ice-cream. We had banana-filled spring-rolls with ice-cream. It sounded much scarier than it turned out to be.

Later we all watched a dvd too. She picked STAR WARS. The good one. I'd never watched it on the 60' Plasma w\ surround. It was awesome. It felt like my Birthday. I mean I might have picked going to Urban Outfitters or getting inked, but everything else.

As a bonus cliche' i remember my girl saying to me sometime back: Since it's close to your birthday, how bout we have it on Halloween? she's talking about our wedding. I tell her that sounds perfect. But let's not make it to cheesy. but sort of. but not. you know?

Now that the witch is dead. She has no idea what I'm talking about. Something to do with the Wizard of Oz. Maybe.