and then she wanted a reason why

you say it a lot. you say it until your blue stars in the face. you say it and it's to late.

you write it and it makes no sense

you read it and it's

like some kind of dream

it's done. already? you stare at the night sky and wonder

where did the time go

wonder if you'll ever make it back home again.

It will be a long summer. July is going to be bright with explosions and light. Light fuse. Run away. The A\c is cranked I tend to stay inside. sometimes I'll go out for a run, or play my drums in the garage. one light bulb swinging from the ceiling. I pretend. I used to be good at that. pretending. I pretend I am in a band, that I am good. people think I'm good. I used to be good at pretending. not so much anymore. I try. I tried. I can say that.

so i told her that we would get married in October. I don't think it will be much cooler out, but it's my birthday and Halloween. She said that's all the time she'd give me otherwise i was taking to long. I think the costume thing is corny. candy corny.

sometimes you just have to listen. sometimes things are greater when you wait. sometimes not.

the thing is. I can't wait.
I didn't mean for it to end like this. that's what I always end up saying. but I think it's best.

i remember you best in winter. hands cold, cheeks red. I remember football season and making cupcakes. winter is when I've always loved you most. It's going to be fun. something about me. I'm going to warn you. Don't say i didn't. my love is tough but it's forever. no one will love you more.

you wanted this and honestly

I've been wanting it too.