Monday, February 11, 2008
Sugar and Cyanide
Are you ready to be sweet to me? Ever give a Valentine to the most important person in your life? If not, why not? Who was the first to give you one? Who was the first you gave one to? Who was the last?
I got sweaty trying to pick out the right Valentine card for her. Her was the first girl I fell for. She couldn't have cared less. She was pretty. She was popular. I think she got a card from every single boy in class. Everytime I saw this girl my heart went flying over the moon as only a 2nd grade heart in love can do.
I don't know if I imagined this but her hair seemed to always smell of strawberries and sunshine. She had little freckles on her nose. Cassandra. I liked saying her name. It sounded like puppies playing. Like candied hearts and striped socks, ruby slippers, and kitty cat whiskers.
Time to make our exchanges and I watched as she walked over to the most popular boy's desk first. All the other girls followed suit. A line in front of his desk, a line in front of hers.
We had taped brown paper bags on to the edge of our desks and this is where you were to place the envelopes containing the Valentine.
I got to her desk.Bag already bursting with other kids love. I put a candy Valentine heart on top of her desk that said " Be Mine" then quickly shoved my card inside her bag along with the others. It cut the edges. My poem inside ready to win her heart.
Back at my desk. My bag with 1,2,3,4, 5 cards. One was decorated with pretty drawings. My heart skipped. I thought it might be from Cassandra. I ripped into it. I couldn't wait. love BECKY. LOVE Becky? I looked around the room and found Becky huddled with a bunch of girls in the back of the class. She had glasses with tape on them and a school uniform two sizes to big for her. She glanced my way and I half waved with her card in my hand. She smiled.
But my heart was sinking. I hated Valentines day. I decided that I would always hate it from now on until forever.
I went out of class to the water fountain. Cassandra was there. As she bent over to drink, she silently stuck her arm out towards me. In her hand was a small envelope. My soul sang, anticipating what was inside that white square of paper *from her*. Still without a word, she walked away without looking back after I took it.
Trembling, I opened the envelope. Inside was a card with a big color illustration of Scooby Doo on it and a caption below that said something dumb and noncommital like "Hope ya have a grrrrrreat Valentine's Day" Only that. She didn't even sign her name or, dream of dream, write lots of "O's" and "X's" to signify hundreds of hugs and kisses. Nothing.