whatever killed our spark

I watch the automatic pool cleaner as it moves the length of the pool. It makes its way up and around. back. eating leaves and dirt and whatever else it likes to eat.
it's soothing how it moves through the water. crawling along the bottom, up the sides, and I try to predict which path it will take next. but, it's random. every time different.
still, there aren't many places it can go. there is no escape from doing it's job. eventually
it comes back to the place it started from. home. my pool is it's home.

my feet are hanging over the side and in the water. it's getting dark out. the sky is orange-lime with grey clouds. A mixed drink.
sink or swim
sink or swim
I'm thinking this as I let myself fall in. down. under.
A mantra.
close my eyes, hold my breath.
sink or swim.
I can smell chlorine in my nose. still holding my breath, I am at the bottom. I can hear the pool cleaner.
moving, shaking.

when I break the surface. The sun has gone completely down.
it's dark out. the moon reflects off my skin, slick and wet like a seal. there are the stars. the moon. and fire-flies in the bushes. that is the only light.

when was it that we last swam together at night?. and how the pool cleaner scared you so much. with its hoses, noises, and blue spiky feet and you took it out of the water so it couldn't breathe. so that it wouldn't wrap around you in the dark water.

so i did. I put my arms around you, our slick skin touching. I played polar-bear and took you under with me. my teeth in your neck. Marco - polo Marco-polo - remember our silly games?

and then you -wrapped in a towel with dripping hair. and me in bed under the blanket because the air was turned down so low it was freezing like a hotel room. your skin smelled like chlorine. you said you couldn't believe you were here. that we were together. that you thought we had drowned. but i told you how i let you up for air. I said see... and you looked. scratches from the bear. I am the bear. in summer- i am the bear.

photos: 1heliumglow
3moss-koete