Sunday, April 20, 2008
Soft as snow but warm on the inside
I meant to tell you nothing. Instead I told her the story about how when I was little I stayed up nights terrified of the migration of the Killer bees. Earlier in the evening I watched IN SEARCH OF... on T.V.. And scientists predicted they would reach the United States in 4 or 6 years.
Then there were horrible dreams of swarms of bees attacking me and my dog and my friends and our school bus. My Mom said I "think to much" and that just like the space ships that we all were supposed to be flying around in by the year 2000. "Don't count on it." Think good thoughts she told me.
So I had nightmares about tornadoes and witches and no place like home. I wondered what happened after we died. A little kid with all these big people problems. My teddy bear, CoCo talked me down from scary dreams. From the darkness. Coco, he told me to think about Wendy the girl next-door. Her pink Huffy bike and riding to the Little General store to get cherry cola slurpees together. Her pink girly bike with the playing cards shoved through the spokes so that it was loud as thunder rolling down the street. We were thunder and lightning and she wore pink bunny barrettes in her hair.
Sometimes I wish it would snow and never stop. I wish it were Winter all year long. So i could love you again and there would never be any killer bees to sting us. Scientists say they can't stand the cold. Scientists say don't worry. It's nothing. I don't believe in nothing. Everything is something. WE are something. Only today: Nothing.