Submarine

 DNA

It's clear we wouldn't last the year. but taken from an outsiders perspective. young love was tragic love and we were all kinds of that. young. tragic. ghostly.
I stared at her from across the class-room. the only class we had together. Marine biology.  Fish swimming in the salty sea. some such nonsense like tides, rip currents, aquaculture. my sperm still trying to swim inside her from late Saturday night. Jelly-fish slow and drifting. poison. slow and drifting. 
 I  turned in slightly above average grades. She was good at math, a quality i found sexually attractive. that and knee socks. that and her love for sad dreamy music. that and the fact she'd have me any way i wanted.
 I sat and thought about my future. but couldn't see past the tip of my pen. graduation in 5 months. slightly above average grades. no real effort. no going above and beyond. mild obsessions distract me to easily. like music, like death, like the girl across the room. 

before you're gone

 

before i knew it, i had misplaced summer. your hand in my back pocket, a  tourist in my own town. beach towels and a pirates map. i was never your prude. always wine. always gold. always above. always under.
 I have a good mix for this, i have certain songs in my head. life is moving within a sound track. numbers, patterns. collisions. near misses. beats that make you melt and sway.  there was the holiday party. drunk kisses under garnish. before you go, before you sleep. frost on our lips. a hug so tight. it's obscene. before you close your car door and head home to him.   

before the end of this something- something - or anything and then winter. I drove my truck to the grocery where they sell Christmas trees out front. the cool air and smell of pine. i fall in love with pretty faces, pretty words. pretty sunshine. with blood on the snow, anything, everyone. you.  I made you hot chocolate and we sat by the fire pit in the back-yard. I hate everything about endings. the last moment. the last kiss.
the last
word.

Whole of our Heart

Turned up radio, tires slipping over wet asphalt. heart slipping on ice. Two days of rain. tomorrow they say ..."sunny and clear "
blue skies over gray. a long wait for someone special. the wait for snow. I'll take that.

There are two roads since she's gone. this way and that. up and down. I notice nothing of red lights. all green lights from here to the east. I've gone north and south. dizzy with the thought of drink on my tongue. I'm healthy again. A good sign she still thinks of me.

I thought of a cabin in the woods or seaside shanty , a house boat , a sail boat. then back to mountains. chopping wood, growing a beard. building a fire. books stacked to a ceiling made of cedar. writing is isolation. a desolate place. its like being dragged to the bottom of a pool except your able to hold your breath- endlessly. you can look up and see the sun refracted through the water. you should be drowning but instead you're in the silence. i can hear my blood. my heart beats in a pattern. everything frequency and patterns and nothing lasts forever, not the memories tattooed into my skin,  not even me writing it down for you to read someday.  
 
A song without words. miles of rain slicked highway. accelerate. stay alert. oncoming high-beams become hundreds of  tiny moons. the only sound the tapping of keys. some impossible way to get you to notice me, but I must be dead for there is nothing but blue snow and the furious silence of a howling wolf.

Best wishes to you on Halloween

She came to visit Halloween weekend.  To carve pumpkins, to scoop out my heart.
I took photographs of her outside under skies the color of muscle,  She held a long knife sitting in her undies,  pumpkin between her knees. These are memories on a hard-drive.The fucking on my red Ikea sofa, on the floor, the bedroom, up against the wall in the hallway.  I'd almost never remember any of this...if this wasn't the last time id ever see her again.

 But, she drove over 200 miles to tell me about how much she loved Halloween. How she was only doing this because she couldn't stay away from me, even though it wasn't a good idea for either of us. For some reason she can't let us go. maybe never could, never will,  no matter the circumstances. How are the circumstances now?

 There was someone else she'd run back to once she was done with me. The carving and fucking and scooping out of my heart.  I made a fuss at first. but she liked it to much when i got angry.  she was something i couldn't have , but did have..really, and confused i kissed her hard and pushed her on the bed. I fucked her deep, she opened up, like that way there is no description for, like the way when you're breathing your last few fatal breaths, you'll remember and have no regrets about life.  Because life was all about being inside her inside something that made sense at least for that moment. and now ....I get lost in the thought. I forget about what she took from me. How she will pack up and have her Halloween somewhere else, with someone else. but it was worth it wasn't it?. aren't we all better off now?  I told you,  i could handle the bleeding.

“I can’t believe I gave my panties to a geek.”

"Happy birthday, Samantha. Make a wish."
: -"Well, it already came true"  .

I never liked the ending of this movie.(which im sure is playing on some channel, somewhere in the world at this very moment). Other than the geek became king by getting Samantha's panties and also got with Jake's drunk girlfriend. If i've said it once i've said it a thousand times... Fuck Jake.

This is my latest stencil- its called - "Molly hates Pink" 
Hand-cut Stencil , spray paint on card-board 2011