The sweetest decline is always voluntary. I remember how she gave me the keys and let me drive. how she put her arms around me like they belonged there. I kissed her hard and deep. drunk on her youth, sick with our disaster.
In case we don't make it back. i say
Earlier on the phone she asked me, Do you remember how to get here?
me with the knife, me with the gun, me who drives miles and miles, to her anxiously awaiting. hell fast and filled with random thoughts. her heart, her body, now the keys,
that's trust baby. with bruised lips we now depart.
skin the color of snow, her hair- darkness, sunshine, ginger, apples- I just wanted eat her cold white skin.
I pull over under a lemon tree or orange tree. something citrusy and sweet. a rest stop with vending machines and clean rest-rooms. fat squirrels beg near a garbage can. 18 wheeled truck noise from the highway. somewhere train tracks and power lines run parallel. I just assume.
At the car, we're both back from peeing.
how was it?, did it burn?, If it did, I'm sorry.
she's funny too. i like that.
No, I could hardly keep from moaning. it was almost orgasmic. do girls get like that?. does peeing feel that good for girls?
No. I'm orgasmic for some foods. and sex. mostly anal. and older guys.
more jokes, more good times, more somethings to remembers.
she's done being witty or bratty or both.
she climbs over top of me.
okay, baby, you drive for awhile.
random, grasshopper thoughts. honey and sliced orange. come stuck from the tip of my dick to the inside my underwear, it rips away with a slight move. pain, but not so bad that it's almost erotic. I drifted. hardly aware she was in the passengers seat. legs slightly parted, crumpled skirt, eyes closed. I was inside her not just .... how long ago?. mile markers have past by, my foot to heavy. intoxicated. sex dizzy, road dizzy, brain tumor. something.
I play god behind the wheel, i play a detective on t.v. In real life, i think she just loves me.
Do you remember how to get here?
right before i came, she called me daddy. petrol and go- go juice. motel neon and greasy spoon diners. There are parts of me still inside her.