Saturday, December 14, 2013
you are a part of my cabin in the heart
Ive said it before between the lines here and there. I look at hers. she looks at mine. She knows. Im reckless and obvious but nothing is ever certain, Is it?
I want to talk and hang out and go on road trips together. I want to hide out and fuck and create. these stupid chemicals make me want to marry her and watch her and use her and make her art. I want to put it into words but as you can see I fail at it. Im old enough to know better. It’s a mess. A blank page has suddenly become a massacre. nothing is certain.
She goes on without me to wait for the school bus. Second day in a row she’s ignoring me. It’s weird how one day someone seems so into you and the next acts as if she doesn’t know you at all. We fucked lets get that out in the open. We did and many times after school while her Mom was at work. Her Dad split years ago, the things she let me do to her must have been pay back. All the girls ive ever been with don’t seem to have Dad’s around. Its just something I run into not something I look for. Shes over there now talking to some guy, they smoke cigarettes, laugh, she touches his arm. I shrug my shoulders. Its not the end of the world - it just feels like it.