Thursday, November 20, 2008

what part of uncomplicated equation don't you understand?

what does it mean
these cold days
down south

to remind me
of the winter that
never happen

these mornings
with blankets covering
our skin
and scars

strawberry words for no
other reason but
to pull you

the air smells
and the sun touches me
through glass
high and bright

we wake to the new
day our
lies healed
and secrets silenced

by a story
yet to be written

there will be fall out. telling you, i love you.
from saying it and then not stopping even long after it’s done. and it will be done, if it isn’t already.
I haven’t said it often. I didn’t dole those words out like the purple dinosaur you grew up with.
it wasnt a song or a poem. it just was. simple and plain and tragically beautiful.
There is fall out for bleeding in front of you. that’s why I’m here and if that’s what it takes, if that’s all it takes. I will breathe and bleed and show you the scars. i will write it all down and if it sounds redundant. I’m sorry. but I’m not sorry. I’m not sorry because there is always war with love, always the bombs and explosions in the sky, and then there is the fall out. the isolation and silence that follows. the ghosts of words. the ghosts of our lies and the truth that remains long after we’re done.

she picked me up last friday night. drove me to the beach. she said she had something to show me. we walked along the shore-line. the sky was clear and the moon was full. I liked the shimmery glow, how the light danced on the water. the waves crashed and salt-water ran over my bare feet.

she asked me what time it was. I looked at my watch and after i said, she told me to look up and i followed to where she pointed in the sky. A burst of bright light next to the moon, a vapor trail.

It’s the space shuttle she said. now, You’ll always remember this night.

I didn’t even know…. i started to say but she threw her arms around me and shhhhhed me with a kiss.

I watched the rocket flare and shooting flames. I saw the shadow racing across the light of the moon. Swollen and full.

she wants new memories in my head. she wants me to remember her when she is gone. to miss and write about her. she is all but time and space and distances now. she is getting me back for promising to make her glow. for offering more than i could give.

this night i let you win.

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