Friday, July 15, 2011
drowning in dreams
there were fights and sweat soaking fucks, like animals. but there were also sweet dreams fortified with red wine and soft pillows. sleep was easy and it was probably the soft sheets and they way the scent of it all sunk deep. everything clings.
when she was gone i knew i had to wash them, but i put it off because i wanted my skin against
the smell of her ghost. even though she was miles away somewhere next to him - she was with me. funny how that works. funny just how true that seems in our heads.
the silence doesn't stop me. it only pushes me to look deeper inside myself. heart beats. muscle tissue. expansion, contraction. disintegration. I wont let go.
late at night i play instrumentals so fucking loud the paint might peel from the walls. cellos and trombones. real woods and metals. real flesh and bones. the part inside the inside - the narrator. nothing can stop me from getting what i want in this life. nothing can stop me from living this story.
sweet dreams fortified with sugar rush and piano chords. we gave our blood in a mobile-bank outside a library. we never stop giving. we share our sin.