The sun hangs up there and it doesn't want to fall. days seem longer, they drag and wilt awaiting our kiss dizzy summer. I have trouble getting to sleep. my mood sharpens or fades depending on the music i play, the books i read, the photos my eyes show me. maybe it all depends on if she loves or not - misses me or not - or.. at all.
shadows appear on walls and familiar faces loving and lying and twice in between, not enough. I'm fixing us something to eat, I'm using a grill because where there's smoke there's fire. drinking wine and waiting for midnight as if something will change. but, no pumpkin, no white horse, no death. not yet.
i think of how much I'm hating the word "sustainable" lately.
I breath in ,,,, one, two, three, and out............ four, five, six.
driving home past road kill and garbage trucks. idling slow at red lights next to pretty girls on cell phones text fucking their lovers. I care about the earth and our sustainability. I do. I drink water from taps, I apply even pressure to cuts and scraps. I kiss bruises. I just don't use the word "sustainable" as it applies to food or textiles or the rubber garden hose coiled up like a snake.