Friday, September 12, 2008

shedding our summer skin

ninety three fifty :

that's what the marriage license cost. cash. she held his hand. they both were there, they must have been. signing names and writing down addresses. excited. my name.
your name
her name
his name
3 day wait and good for 60 days.
i asked the lady behind the glass if i could keep the pen
so i could write this

is this a court house or a prison? when i went through the metal detectors they told me they would need to keep my knife. Security wrote down my name and then slipped the knife into a manila envelope. Gave me a pick-up ticket for later. Is it so strange someone carrying a pocket knife these days? My girl seemed to think it was cute. My Daddy carries a knife? she says sounding all surprised.
Oh, the mystery of me is only just unfolding. I tell her.

I carry one that belonged to my grand father. when i was little my Dad and his Dad and my Mothers Father also, they all carried pocket knives. I wanted one so bad. When you are bigger. is what they say to a 7 year old who asks.
So October comes and I get one for my 10th birthday. I felt all grown up and put it under my pillow every night when I went to sleep. I've long since lost it. I've lost many knives since then. to irresponsible - to careless. I've lost many fine things that way. but, I'm older and I haven't lost this knife. I won't lose this girl.

While waiting for our number to be called I asked her what was it like her first time? i meant her first kiss. was it like this?
was it like how i did it or better? was it like ..... did you know
that the best thing you could do right now is run away?

and miss out on this? she moves her hands as to introduce me to an invisible crowd.
but the mystery of you is just unfolding. I don't detect a smile and the way she says this scares me a little so that i like it. Like she knows something i don't. Like she knows where i was before last Halloween. The best thing I could do is run away. But I don't. ninety three fifty and quiet as a church mouse. We raise our right hands and I quietly swear to the truth about something. I'm thinking about not forgetting to get my knife back. I finally speak up and ask the lady for the pen so i can write this.

No comments: