and on Sunday she wore her summer dress

Scheherazade was so wrong; she had it all backwards. For 1001 nights, she told her king new stories to keep him interested and spare her life. But men don't want to hear stories-- they want to tell them. They want to talk; they want to hold the floor. Males want the world to listen to whatever it is they have to say. That was the single thing she learned from her dismal period of Internet dating--most men really only want to talk to someone who listens. Some want to download while others want your sympathy. Some want admiration but not as many as she had originally imagined. More often than not men just want to tell you what they're thinking or how they see the world. They prefer an appreciative audience but willingly settle for an attentive one. She realized after meeting so many men in a short period of time that the best way to start things going on a date was to give the guys a little verbal push and off they'd go--talking about themselves, their world, their take on things.

- Jonathan Carroll
I like the nights of stars. her summer dress thin and breezy hiked to her waist. Her lips on my neck as she sits close. i tell her about the salty sting of sea water and other stories. I pretend we are on a sail-boat sailing to anywhere. Anywhere but here. anywhere as long as she is with me.
we are really in bed and tomorrow there is work. but I tell her this and this and that. until she closes her eyes. she sleeps now, but I still talk only in whispers. listen. this our happily ever after. As close as it gets. real or pretend. stars and moon and shiny rings.


audrey kawasaki

Glitter and Doom

Willy Wonka: Don't forget what happened to the man who suddenly got everything he always wanted.
Charlie Bucket: What happened?
Willy Wonka: He lived happily ever after.

At a major electronics\dept store late night to pick up a few things - went to the cd and gaming section and was fussing around with a controller hanging off some video game they had on display. ( I don't own a system and havent since Atari 2600) I thought the place was dead empty but a girl came over and started asking me about my ink and then if I have played such and such game. No. I said this thing just sorta caught my eye when i walked by and I couldnt kick my hands of it. I admitted that I didn't even have a system and don't really like playing video games. She looked at me strangely and told me she was a nerd or geek or something. gaming was fun and i should get into it. then we got into a discussion about the word "nerd" and "geek". words and meanings being far more interesting to me. I told her how I saw it was that "geek" implies hireabilty, it implies wealth, and that "nerd" skills aren't 100 percent sellable. She told me i was seemed very smart , a "very wise man" - making me feel more like her dad, which I think was not far off from being possible.

I speak and act in a totally unrestricted manner to animals. I tell them that I love them and touch and pet and hold. They make me feel all warm and cuddly. sometimes I wish I could be the same way with humans. It probably has something to do with fear of rejection. control. whatever. but i don't know. those cute little furry faces. How can anyone resist?

I couldn't keep my hands off you, you made me feel warm. I even told her that I loved her. silly me. silly silly me.

bottom photo: circle--of--fire

Everything is.....

When it comes to love, there are a million theories to explain it. But when it comes to love stories, things are simpler. A love story can never be about full possession. The happy marriage, the requited love, the desire that never dims - these are lucky eventualities, but they aren't love stories. Love stories depend on disappointment, on unequal births and feuding families, on matrimonial boredom and at least one cold heart. Love stories, nearly without exception, give love a bad name.
We value love not because it's stronger than death, but because it's weaker. Say what you want about love: death will finish it. You will not go on loving in the grave, not in any physical way that will at all resemble love as we know it on earth. The perishable nature of love is what gives love its profound importance in our lives. If it were endless, if it were on tap, love wouldn't hit us the way it does.
-Jeffrey Eugenides