why are you so far away

I am about to be pounding the pavement, scanning the internets, and faxing out resumes. It looks like I'm joining in the hunt for a new and improved limited edition job. It's going to be like trying to purchase an Audrey Kawasaki print. well, i hope not that hard.

We are closing down shop here after 23 years. ( i will no longer have a job soon).

Finding a job at what i already do and have skills for is next to impossible. I am intrigued by the possibilities of something entirely new: hmmmm entry level government job?, something or other in the medical field (brain surgeon? do you need schooling for that?) , flipping burgers (i am awesome on the grill), Whole Foods Market ( no jobs available and i can't grow a decent beard) , perhaps a large chain home improvement or bulk shopping store.

These are the things i wanted to grow up and be: Ice-cream man, pest control guy, pool cleaner, quarterback for the Dallas Cowboys, cop, fireman, tattoo artist, work at Disney World, work in a motel, Italian chef, daredevil, vending machine owner, batman, airport security, comic book writer, talk radio host, life guard, physical therapist, rock star, boat captain, lawyer, detective, spy, pro surfer, lottery winner, pro skater, X-ray tech, priest, code enforcement officer, UPS driver, monk postal carrier, physical therapist.

this is what the universe has planned for me, right? this whole losing the job thing. It's going to be a fun, exciting spiritual experience and adventure. (living on the street?)

I don't think this is what my wife had planned when she married me last October. (thanks for being in the medical field and still having a job sugarbaby!) It's clear this is something I won't be able to write my way out of. Being pretty isn't going to help either. All my hidden talents will still be hidden, still not able to make me a living. And that's okay, I'm happy just making you happy.

I won't be able to write my way out of this situation but I can write about it. "Everything that happens to me is the best possible thing that can happen to me" I began practicing this belief two years ago. Now I'll show you.

I'll post my progress from time to time. between the other stories, motel rooms, missing her, striped socks, things that still matter, but..........

and I am no king

my girl and me, we are driving back from the flea-market, we are hot, thirsty and hungry from walking around for about an hour in the South Florida sun.
It's lunch time and she says...you know what I really really feel like having right now? a veggie burger from BK. I wasn't even aware they sold veggie burgers and I bet her they don't have it.

I find a BK fast, it isn't hard. We go inside and there it is on the menu. VEGGIE BURGER. She wins. So I order two, one for myself, apple chips and a diet drink on the side. Okay, I didn't get the veggie burger. I can't lie. You can clearly see in the picture the wrapper says Steakhouse burger. I haven't had fast-food in over 4 months that isn't a lie. But I figured if I didn't get fries and had the apple things it wouldn't be so bad. Anyway, I'd been wanting to try the Angus beef burger. . It's $3.99 just for the burger. (the average cost of a full combo meal) but either i was extremely famished or it was well worth it. That is a tasty burger! .
She tells me her Veggie burger is wonderful too.

When I was about to order a homeless guy walks up behind me. I'm in the so called bad part of town. over where we have the giant flea-market and drive-in. He shyly asks me for a quarter and opens his dirty hand to show me he has a dollar and some change and wants some lunch.

I reach in my pocket and give him all i had left, which was a 5. His eyes lit up. He didn't have to order from the dollar menu. he thanked me over and over and then ordered an awesome lunch.

what was this feeling i was feeling? what was this warm light that was washing over me? Am I such a fucking uncaring bastard most days, that this feeling is so new to me?. I felt so unbelievable for helping someone out, making someone feel good. I felt good. I felt alive for once doing something for someone other than me. I felt like the King of fucking Burger King.

Wine of the week: EVIL. It's a ruby red Cab. hints of berry and notes of spice. I spotted it while shopping at Whole Foods Market. I have a thing for trying to find killer twist-off wines for under 10 bucks. And I quite like this one from Australia. Admittedly, I made the purchase based on it's cliche alternative name and packaging. I had it with Stuffed Peppers and Grilled Short-ribs on Sunday.
All Photos:
goodwinter
Art by:
artandghosts