Holiday in pictures -

I took her to dinner but all she ever ate were the mints

this slow
burden loving you

waiting
just anything
just words
just presence

her
rust and
honey
mouth

peppermint tooth paste
and bad dreams

snow falling
in
a perfect silence

but i have yet to really feel it.
this slow burden
having loved you

and i have never
seen snow
so there
is
no silence

I saw the crescent , You saw the whole of the moon!

last Fridays full moon. the fullest of the year. swollen with the kind of luck i could feel
sink into my skin. no clouds and 10 miles east it would be hanging calmly over the Atlantic ocean. I wish i was there. sitting with you on the sand, keeping your hands warm pressed to my chest. crabs snapping along the shore. the moon glowing over what's left of this December. something we now share, or at least this vision of it. an illusion of what is and isn't. if it were snow or rain or ash or tears. fall out from a time when our hearts beat and I told you I could have loved you. just a little to late.

Still don't know what to get someone? Here are three books I wouldn't mind having. Any of the three would make a great holiday gift.
1.
Strange brains and Genius: The secret lives of eccentric scientists and madmen
2.Show Me How: 500 things you should know instructions for life from the everyday to the exotic
3.Wacky Packages


Luck since the full moon:

-scored a kathie olivas dunny. It's the one i wanted in the series. (it has a fuzzy body)
-found an old post card in a book, it's from 1986. Garfield on the front. (it's a love note) I enjoy finding those.


- They still had Koibito figures available from artist Yoskay Yamamoto's art show and was able to place order for mine.
- Dallas Cowboys win and keep playoff hopes alive

lies to prevent panic

there have been delays due to snow. the static i hear in my head not the white cold dust that falls from the sky. I once saw her catch one on her tongue. a snow flake as unique and special as you. she closed her eyes as it melted in the warmth of her mouth. snow mixed with ash from population growth and nearby drug factories. I asked if she thought it might help with her chronic cough. she reached for my hand.
only this. she said pulling my hand towards her heart.
I felt it beating against her chest.
we have a pulse!! i screamed with joy.
she's alive...she's alive. I began to sing frosty the
snow man.
please don't. please don't she said your making me laugh and youre out of tune.
Happy Birthday!!! she said. More laughing....i get the joke.

we played in snow to celebrate her arrival to this world. my snow-girl. a magic ribbon tied to her hair.
Now don't melt. don't melt. don't melt.....
we danced in the snow. not the static in my head kind but the kind that falls soft and pretty like in movies. It's the only kind I know and that's no lie. I've never seen snow. I tell her.
she says she is surprised.
by what?, I ask.
that you didn't lie.
i said i never promised to tell you the truth, only that I'd never share our secrets and I never have and never will.

the snow never seen nor ever felt or ever will or maybe?, if you showed me.
would you show me?
would you show me if i told you i had more teach you. even if i don't, even if i couldn't. I'd say i do and could just to see you one time laughing in the snow.
purple rain, she says. you got that one time laughing line from purple rain.

when it's cold and it rains is that how snow is made? I asked. really. tell me.
do snow girls bleed or only melt?
she didn't say. she wouldn't say. she wouldn't show me. maybe she doesn't know.