I know she's drowning in boys and a lot of hipster noise

Lately, I've been visiting the local library system on-line. While I track down books to hoard and the few I will actually read, I also put dvd's on hold. These are the titles that I wouldn't waste netflix queue space on. Movies that are most likely running on the cable channels ( I don't subscribe to any). HBO, Showtime and the others. Nothing wrong with them but I've found they are only worth it for the original series programing. (which I wait for on DVD) The movie movies are crap. Aren't they? Films I've already seen in the theater or don't care to see anyway. But since T.V. hasn't come back into full swing I've been getting a couple every week.

For instance: De jevu, Shooter, The Painted Veil, Rescue Dawn, 3:10 to Yuma, The Guardian,

some of them aren't all that bad. Esp one.....called Travellers and Magicians http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0378906/. This is a Very good ZEN film. Written and Directed by a Buddhist monk. SEE THIS. It's peaceful and beautifully shot. I can't recommend this one enough.

Back to speaking of T.V. I don't even watch LIVE television anymore. I DVR every show I end up watching. (no commercials that way) You get so used to that and start going crazy watching a show in real time and having to sit through the commercials. They make me edgy and nervous now. Who can watch for the full 3o minutes or hour?. I am not willing to do that for most shows, save for maybe THE OFFICE. (Back April 10Th) Come back to me already. I miss Pam.

I finished reading INTO THE WILD. If you've only seen the movie, I suggest you READ the book. Small but much more informative. It didn't change my mind on how the movie made me feel though. McCandless comes across just as selfish and foolish in the book. I will say for the most part he did stick with his beliefs. Although he did end up getting jobs when he needed money, and did really hurt people who became close to him ( in the book he totally destroys the old man who he befriends him). I just have the same feeling after reading the book as I did after watching the movie. I just wanted to be sure. If there is research or more sources about something I have feelings over I MUST seek it out. Overall, I guess the message of taking in your surroundings and the beauty in nature is relevant over most of our consumerism and capitalist ways. I am on the other side of the spectrum. I seriously believe I can somehow manage being both a consumer whore and still truly appreciate the nature and natural order of things. Taking in the offerings of the universe while amidst the chaos of everyday hustle and bustle. To be still inside the storm. To stay in the Center. My own adventures are only small vacations, and going to local parks. My adventures have been Internet adventures, relatively safe. I admire Him for getting out in the world. Doing what he thought was the best path to achieve oneness. It's true you don't get the same view from a hotel room than from say...a tent. But don't forget most of the authors that inspired Mcandless' views and beliefs , setting him on his path, were NOT living it. They were fictional books and if you did research like on author Jack London(considered his favorite) "I write for no other purpose than to add to the beauty that now belongs to me. I write a book for no other reason than to add three or four hundred acres to my magnificent estate." you find London only spent one winter up north his entire life, lightly plagiarized most of his famous writings, and may or may not have committed suicide. Now, check out this transition from the mention of suicide: I watched Wristcutters: A love story. http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0477139/ I've had it in my Queue for over a year. Based on the fact I looked up Shannyn Sossamon an actress I fancy. I saw she was in it and I added it to my list. Now Shannyn isn't the greatest actress of our time or anything , but I do find her look and style smashing on screen. She is like the American version of Faye Wong ttp://www.myspace.com/fayewong. ( ChungKing Express, 2046). So last year I read the graphic novel Pizzeria Kamikaze based on a Etgar Keret short story (Kneller's Happy Campers) Read it!!!. Then found out this was the movie based on both. Cool. It's a black comedy about an afterlife world where people who have committed suicide live. Interesting concept, It's also about heart-break and a love story too. Tom Waits is in it. What more do you need!. It's as entertaining as the stories. Not as quotable, or as narrative, as the story though. It's worth a viewing but take your time, I wouldn't kill myself over it. Haha. Yeah.

Her:If we fuck I'm gonna feel like shit tomorrow. Him: that's okay with me. --from Hotel Chevalier.

Also watched Darjeeling Limited, of course if you are a Wes Anderson fan, like me , you've seen it already and if not. DO so. Or don't. Okay Sweet lime?

"I promise, I will never be your friend, no matter what, ever"

A beautiful disguise

"Fuck," Renana said, licking her stubby fingers, "We don't fuck. Not that it's a big deal or anything. It's just that, when you're 'a fuck on the side' and the whole sex thing stops, then you're nothing but 'on the side', know what I mean? I'm not saying it's a deal breaker or anything, it's just, you know, a little weird. Because with your wife, even if you don't fuck, you can still visit her parents or fight about who loads the dishwasher, all the normal couple things. But when it happens with a lover, it sort of pulls the rug out." - Etgar Keret

Why the eggs and bunnies ? I couldn't figure that out back in Catholic School and the Nun's never quite answered our questions. What do 5th graders need to know anyway?
Good Friday. How could I forget. At 7:30 a.m sharp. Head to rectory, knock on door 3 taps. I was told to put on my robe. Altar-boy, boy-wonder. It was said we shouldn't eat meat on Good Friday, not told why, and we'd also get to leave school early.
The church smelled like incense and old books, like god and holy water. Like wax and candy.
I always wondered what it would feel like to drip candle wax on a girl. I wondered this because there were always so many candles lit in the church. Even early in the morning. Who had to light all these candles? was it a person, was it god, or saints? Was it the Easter bunny. I wondered about the wax because I had tried it on my arm and it wasn't so bad. I liked the red color that was first liquid and like blood and then cooling hard and dry.
After church, after the party and refreshments, after school. I waited for my ride(Mom) with this red-headed girl named Jennie. Her Mom was always late picking her up too. I liked her because she carried a little radio in her back-pack. Her pack was a fuzzy panda-bear. She offered me gum and turned on the radio. Disco. I pretended to like it.
Then that new song from Sugar Hill Gang came on "Rapper's Delight" - I said a hip hop the hippie the hippie to the hip hip hop, a you don't stop the rock it to the bang bang boogie say up jumped the boogie to the rhythm of the boogie, the beat....

There were no more buses left, and just a few cars in the parking-lot. Jennie bopped her head side to side. Hippie the hoppin. I had the words mostly memorized already. I turned the radio up and she moved and tried to rap and it was funny. Her Easter basket was filled with candy, glittery green straw, and plastic colored eggs. We ate jelly-beans from my basket to pass the time. She sat down under a tree and I could see up her skirt. Pink. Light pink panties with a bright trim. She spread her legs apart more and I sat in front of her Indian-style. Easter-basket over my lap because it had to be. The sun was shaded by tree branches. I was glad our Mom's were late. Abba was playing now. The reception faded in and out every time a bird or plane flew overhead. Something about a Dancing queen only 17. I wondered about us at 17, we could drive cars and go to concerts, stay up late and have sex. All night, all night. Anytime we wanted. We could get married and make babies. We could go to church on Sunday's . Communion, wafers, tube socks. Name our kids Isabella, Poppy or Gumdrop. Or that could be our dog.

"Do you like dogs." I ask her
"I like dogs and bunnies and panda-bears."
I'd ask her to marry me now if only ........ If Only.
" I see your Mom's car at the corner" she said squinting her eyes. I stood up with my basket still in front of my lap. " Have a good Easter break" I mumble.
I like the way she talks to me drawing out her words like sweet southern tea.
" Hey, but, I'll see you in church, -just two days Christian, Sun-day....in your wonder boy costume....you're cute up there in your....
I dropped the basket and grabbed her behind the neck and pulled her close and kissed her with my eyes closed tight. Maybe it's something i saw on T.V. maybe it's just what I wanted.
...........in- your- robe." She finished slowly. She took a breath. I took a breath. Watermelon and jellybean taste on my mouth. I picked up my basket leaving the 4 brightly colored eggs that had fell out on to the dirt and leaves. We stepped from behind the tree as my Mother pulled up and honked for me to get in the car. I walked away from and then into more radio static. Close the door. More disco. "Tragedy" Bee Gees. My mother saying "blah blah blah I can't believe the traffic, need to cook Easter dinner..blah blah how was school, who is that girl waving". I looked out the window where Jennie pointed to herself, formed a heart with her hands and then pointed to me. I came to the conclusion that the eggs and bunnies had something to do with fertility and the flowers that were soon to bloom. It was Good Friday.