keeping in touch her

Dear you,

I like the sound the water makes in the shower when it hits the plastic lining of the shower curtain.

- X 

choking on salt water

water pools in the drive-way mixing with motor oil, black-top. a flow, a stream, a rainbow hurricanes into the drainage ditch. but it's not nearly fast enough. over-flow. small floods.memories, tide pools.
summer heat is followed by mid afternoon summer storms. reducing the mood to a purer state. i fold paper sail-boats looking out the window. stuck inside. we are always stuck inside for something, stuck inside because of rain or work or the oppressive humidity. stuck inside our own heads, thoughts of sweat and fuck and silence. It is that kind of summer holiday. the long sight lines, the emptiness, the building wind. I fall into myself. thunder-storms. the soft tap of rain against the window. i wish you were here.

small wonders

engine heat and a dizzy head
first thing in the morning
radio fuzz
shaking off
the dust of night
sun
in my eyes
from a distance it looked
like a dog lying 
in the street
but as my tires
spun and the world spun
and my head
spun
upon closer inspection 
it was a dead
t-shirt
the kind of road-kill
one can enjoy
and only wonder
who's shirt?  why?
the kind that
will sort of
make my day
a brown shirt
dead center in the street
not a dog
thank god !
not you
if it hurt
i didn't feel it
a shirt
maybe his
maybe hers
under my wheel
then forgotten
bright day
ahead

We, Us, Them , You and Me

Not long ago i read a book Cheap: The High-Cost-Discount-Culture
I'm not sure why, i saw it on the shelf at the library and like most books i pick up I'm drawn to the cover or something.  It's that or something that usually gets me in trouble.
 Anyway, the book was about how companies like Walmart and other Big Box stores are ruining America with cheaply made products, employing cheap labor and on top of that forcing manufacturers (mostly in China, Vietnam, and India) to build these items at the cost THEY want to pay for it. 
For instance, one of the guys named Gunnar at IKEA designs a sleek new chair.  The design spec is sent to a plant in China and is ordered to build it: and make it wood, come in these 3 colors, weigh a certain amount, and we need so many shipped by such and such a date. AND  we are going to pay you you this SET amount for it) - Build it or we will go somewhere else. So most China ends up having to cut down vast forests in protected parts of Russia or other places to meet pricing and shipping deadlines. All this so we can purchase a 20 dollar -kick it to the curb when it breaks (which is sooner than later) Chair.  Essentially a waste in every way you look at it.  Had you purchased a 300 dollar Herman Miller chair..its likely not to break , you wont kick a 300 dollar chair to the curb, and it might even be handed down to someone else to enjoy. How's that for conserve, re-cycle, re-claim.  

I can't afford quality so i went for design instead. I needed a cheap desk chair but wanted something that looked cool. I took a 30 minute drive to our South Florida IKEA, my first time ever. And hey, they didn't seem like such bad people. helpful, friendly, attendants helped direct my Honda into a parking space. It was like a theme park like atmosphere. A theme park of spiffy designed sofas, lighting pendants, chairs, billy book cases, and 3 dollar Swedish meatballs for lunch.

Found my chair (pictured above). You pick it out in the showroom (which i pretend to live in each room) then write down the aisle and bin # on a provided sheet of paper with provided mini pencil, then when you re done - head to the warehouse area and pick it out yourself. It's so hands on. My girl fell in love with the hot pink version of mine so we now sorta match. Yes, they were 20 bucks each. I had to assemble them. Easy. It feels pretty good, rolls around great, swivel action works, and i think they look great too. I bought a few other things that need assembling, that were CHEAP, but look good. and isn't that what this was all about?
Yes. Yes it was.

when crush turns to like

A puff smoke of cloud floating against a  summer blue sky.  Power-lines, high wires crisscrossed . engagement. pavement. easement. houses. brick driveways. garage doors. opening and closing. I decided to take off work. I'm deciding if i should get in my truck and just drive. a bird  catches my eye in the back yard. I get a false sense of security there. fenced in. surrounded by ficus hedges. camouflage the coming and goings. the victories and heart aches.

Sitting by the pool. 3 books, i-pod, note- book, pen. Sun screen rubbed into the sleeve of ink covering my arm. all those hours. all the pain. art. life. worth it.
the sunscreen smells like coconuts. birds in a palm tree. coconuts. they are wild green parrots. noisy. random thoughts. i tear a page from my note-book and make a paper airplane. she's gone. I'm not sure who, or which one, i just know she is.

Film for the 35mm camera. I keep forgetting the thrift-store camera i bought. I'm anxious to try out all the different lens it came with. I borrowed a  book from the library - William Eggleston photography. i have it next to me. its heavy and reflected in the morning sun. inspiration. the mundane and ordinary find life. you just have to open your eyes. you just have to look.