Forty-Two - Audience of One

Nothing ever fits. make wish. blow out candles. eat cake. it's sweet. life is sweet. It's fruit punch swallowed with bitter pills. i choke.I drown. but this place revolves. it spins on axis. evolve. come and go. Stay. Stay the night. Stay forever. Be the fucking ghost i talk to in my sleep.

Nothing fits. Over the years  I've grown out of my shoes and shirts and lovers. nothing fits  forever. body parts deceived us because they feel so good. sliding in and out. In and Out. like breathing. it's dirty tricks. it's trick or treat. Our heart beats one on top of other. the warmth, the salvation, the words. We mean well,  then we are just plain mean. we say.... at some point, "we just don't fit".  so, maybe we try, maybe we even stay.  Just our bodies. Hey,  tell me where your mind lives?

I thought of you. how we are just pieces of this puzzle. Every year i make a wish. I set things straight with myself. I know how it works. Wait. then wait more. it's almost finished. Turn the last piece this way and that. Force it. love me. Settle in. Perfect fit.

unburied

the nights have taken hold
and your words,
have taken hold 
where have all my lovers gone -
underground - underground

come, let's give blood again
the mobile unit parks 
outside the library
on Halloween
come make a fist
with me
come let me breathe you


before it gets to dark again
before it gets to late again


wish me happy birthday?
let your body be my
cake 
 
the filth is rushing in
and
the blood is washing out
and my thoughts are taking hold
of you
unburied


  

Everything from here to there and back

In typical Libra fashion it was hard for me to decide when choosing a device to replace my beaten and battered, but trusty lap-top unit...fond memories: porn that had graced its screen and ate away it's memory, the music, the sin, the sticky hot writing. Its where we met- It's where we said goodbye. Love and sex and text and email messages, gmail chats and music exchanges. love and lust in the new age. All those late nights. The duct-tape could no longer hold you or the lap-top in place and so,....

The thing was, i wanted something small, mobile, fast, something id never used before. sleek with design, light and long battery life. something that looks good maybe even to good for me. I already have a Desk-top so that is my anchor - i wanted an affair with something on the side, something new, something to blow me totally the fuck away.

Enter I-Pad. reach out and touch and touch and touch. touch glass, touch words, blow your mind out with apps. I dont own an I-phone or I anything for that matter, unless you count an old Nano I-pod. i was very unfamiliar with whole apps thing or how the touch format worked. but i did it anyway, I splurged an bought myself I-Pad for my birthday. I did my research and for all i wanted to do for all - i needed. I choose I-pad wi-fi - 3g. I know it doesnt have Flash (lack of porn viruses), or USB port (you have to synch it through I-tunes using your Desk-top) It cant totally replace a lap-top but...yet it can. It did. I'm tapping glass right now.

Im still in the early stages, getting used using the touch keyboard, rifling through the "must have" apps at the apple store, figuring out how to post to this and other blogs. Oddly enough there isnt an app made for Blogger, but there is one for Wordpress (which i dont use) and to be honest its not that easy to post on blogger from the Ipad at the moment.there will probably be something for blogger soon or adjustments to the site so its a bit easier.I hope. LJ, and Tumblr apps easy and great. pretty much everything else..I love. I even enjoy the touch keyboard more than i thought. Of course you can get a wireless keyboard, stands, a moleskine case even. cases, sleeves, covers, apps.. ( so far i have only installed an anti-glare and scratch proof cover on it). Its all making my head spin but in a good way.

 

-thrift-store had half off records over the weekend..thats half off .60 cents folks. a new batch had just arrived and so i picked these up for .30 cents each. they are worth that for the cover art alone.

This was written on the I-pad. Amen.

awesome retro face

Time:
look at your watch. look at the clock on the wall. look at the bottom of your computer screen. remember the time. remember you spent it with me on my birthday.

our moments together slipping. I'm racing to write it all down but I've already forgotten half of what made it so great. The rest is inside me. I get another wish today. but i wouldn't feel right fucking her again or would I? i get cake. cake with candles, cake with frosting, cake with ants.
think about something you want and you'll get it. (except to get younger)

i like her to wear purple. i like when she wears the purple dress. purple eye-shadow. it's her best color and she might not even know it. Or is it green? It could be green. either way we are going out tonight. either way her panties to match purple or green. we are staying in or I'm picking her up or we'll just snuggle on the sofa. I'll pet her head and tell her to be good.

I know she isn't going to sing for me and if she did- not well. she fakes her way through it. It wouldn't hurt my feelings if she just stood there and smiled. happy- happy-happy.


it's carved into me. carved into my cake. my mother called me, my sister emailed, and my soon- to- be wife made me a notebook. I get a wish and I'm going to write it down in that book. Don't let me forget. I'm writing it down like this:
I've had my cake. I've had you. everything is the way it should be. 10\14\08. she loves me. she loved me. I wish everyone to be as lucky as me.

interested in seeing what i got?: tumblr