Sisters of Mercy

Something  huge from my High School journal
Oct - 87'

 I found a note in my locker. it smelled like cigarette, girl, and old book-bag. I was in class unraveling the million folds. Finally, bubble cursive written with a cheap bic pen. A quick profile: This person could give a shit about school, perhaps dreaded the waking world, life was a drag and then....you die.  Judging from the Iron Maiden RULES scribbled in the corner -  A lover of all things metal.( daughter of satan?)

The name at the bottom. I knew this girl. I stepped over her and her friends every morning as I walked into school. they sit in a circle on the sidewalk in front of the school.  Laughing, smoking, blaring heavy metal out of a boom-box. I smile at her. every morning. metal girls are horny. so am I.  I’m fucking 16.  I like her make-up. too much shadow. too much doom.

 I think back to the way she held a cigarette. why it seemed different. I wasn't sure why she was after me. I gave no outward indication I liked Metal and that’s how people interact at this school,. by the kind of music we like or pretend to like and bands we know and pretend to know. I’m in a band but I doubt she knows that.

The sides of my head are shaved, my intention was Mohawk but it came out more mullet. I listen to punk mostly, and Bad Brains and Elvis and Johnny Cash. Last year, I dated  a perpetually gloomy girl who played The Cure and Bauhaus and the Smiths while we laid in her bed. She let me fuck her, if I promised not to tell. Then she told me a few days later she likes girls.  But what was I talking about? Oh yeah, I can’t say I wasn't able to fall deeply into the despair of lyrical drone of the music.  I also hate Pretty in Pink and Molly Ringworm. but secretly I don't.

The records I go back to over and over are Queen and Cheap Trick. (another secret) But,  punk is awesome. Black Flag..is fucking awesome.  And that this girl ... this horny heavy metal goddess wants to get with me. like this is totally out of the fucking blue too. I’m so hard right now.. 10 minutes till the bell rings... I hope I can get it to go down by then (think  garbage. think old people fucking) This is the start of something. I just know it. Rock on. Rock hard.