words are for sleeping

im supposed to make myself want the money more
than bloody hands
and bruises
working fields or
sailing the seas.
She told me 
a Gentleman isn't gentle at all.

content to watch what life could
be like-- as you scroll scroll scroll
tick tock tick
sleep sleep sleep. 
stare at a thin layer of glass
in hopes to find your true love- or at least a true fuck
within that same thin layer
look for something to covet
to buy,
to be pissed off about.
hey, if you 
show me your best photo of yourself
ill show you mine
I'll put my words up against all the others
copy paste any biography
tell me something i haven't heard
before
any different game on some different night
all the same
just to help
me
sleep. 

Grave Swingers - Shallow and Deep

trouble:
god she was
trouble, trouble, trouble-
and i
did the drugs to close you inside
and i caught the rain to flood
you out
i kissed your knees
i licked your lips
trouble , trouble , trouble

 gone:
cant find home
thought it was the waves,
thought it was the mountains
thought it was money and
sex and
the music on your playlist
darling
just tell me you'd live
in my sound-track
and it's took me all these years
ive finally settled down
and im ready
to love
you  
and youre
gone

easy in the country:
woman to cook my food and clean
my clock
thought it was easy as it all
comes and goes 
time moves me
out the door
where the money flows
the blood flows
writing  was  wine
drunk e n 
rides on country back roads
promises made to be broken
bones in our skin
bones in the ground
we were
and it was
easy 

Half Life

  
    Time off from work last week and stole the labor day holiday too.  Back on the island it was bottles of rum and whatever seafood fell from the ocean. Sucked, Shucked and more drinks. Salt , Salt , Salt.  Must have biked the entire island. But you have to know good things aren't cheap, though the hotel stay on the beach was free from points on my Freedom card. Freedom- ha.
   
     Back to the grind, working out 6 days a week, 40 minute drives each way to and back from work. Me and this middle class work ethic- like every other addiction.  Whatever it is , will it ever be enough?
   
   I like sun-screen that won't rub off and smells like coconut and lime. I like my hair to feel sun-soaked and like straw at the end of the day from the boat and beach. Shower off and can taste the salt on my lips. Drip dry in the freezing cold air conditioned hotel room. Slightly rum drunk - as much a pirate as Ill ever be.  Pillage and plunder her.  

   I never give up on the possibilities of us. I live half my life here and the other half somewhere with you.  

so , how's your life ?

summer won't end here seems to last forever.  I hear about your fall, your pumpkin
spice, your winter snow. It's just something in a song to me, something on t.v.

summer won't fade here, and now I made a mess of everything. even my memories of you are just faded scars. Can't bring back the best parts i thought i knew.  It's just a jerk-off once in awhile thinking back to fucking you. I guess thats something?-  but nothing to write about.


 

Just because your gone -I've been an wanted man
make my self pay by working to long
by carrying a gun, drinking all night
and havin' fun-
remember the nights we used to stay up late
you taught me how to write
like this
words in the mist
words that miss
miles and miles
reflective lies 
repetitive lines 
only
one road
leading back
to you .   

Fists bruised punching air

The last hotel room where we met
numbers on doors
slide the key card  throw our clothes to the floor
tried to make it worth it
sex like every time is our last time

live your life with no regrets
you and your mouth
of diamonds and lies
sweet
sweet  sweet
the novelty of our age difference
the novelty of us
of no self control
us
against them

more so for the attention
the photos you take and let everyone see
spread yourself all over
everything
everyone
and me
so hard not to believe
this was all for
you