As Close To Me As You Are Now

Afternoon rain storms. We kissed on your bed and  I told you that you tasted like lightning. The heat from us burned all summer. She changes the weather.

Unchained

My mom drove fast darting in and out of traffic. Accelerate, down-shift-accelerate. I was late for school again. I had trouble getting up for school. I stayed up late reading books and comics all night. I played with Star Wars figures, listened to records with my giant head-phones. Every time i tried closing my eyes i wondered about dying and death and how it would hapen and what would happen after i died. I was one those kids who thought about everything to much. I dreamed about girls even at a young age. I wanted to own a dog. I wanted to learn Kung-Fu. I wanted escapes, adventures and to live in Oz or Disney World, maybe in the haunted mansion or 20 thousand leagues under the sea.

Quick lane-changes. The book-bag near my foot slides across the floor-board spilling out an S.E. Hinton novel, # 2 pencils and a Trapper Keeper. The windows were down and the radio turned up loud enough to hear over engine roar and wind. The station on was 103.5 WSHE "She's only Rock-in-Roll" - A scratchy voiced DJ introducing a scratchy-voiced band - ACDC- chik-chik-chik-chik-chik-chik-and the power chords of Back in Black kicks in. It sounds like the devil. Like temptation and I want more. I always want more. When i get to school I need to tell Kelly about this song. But i don't remember if i ever did. I can only remember the scratchy voice screaming about black, the wind punching my face and no red lights.

 

Three word replies

And then out of the blue she sends an email. It opens me like a swift blade. It has been such a long time. It reads as if she misses me but then the words aren't totally directed toward me they could apply to anyone. Like this is some sort of mass email sent to all her ex-lovers. fishing for the fish that bites. I am the shark that bites. Blood in the water. I write the long heart-felt reply." I miss you too. I miss you too" i say. I leave questions for reply. Oh please oh please. I swim inside the lies and wait.

 

Warm sticky wet

When you held to close the words i say , but isn't that what we do. I thought youd always be around but you never stayed. Isn't that what we say. Im hungry, im tired. I'm restless. Im gonna go watch Sasha Grey.

Another time my cock is so deep. I tell her i love her. Mistake. I cum. Mistake. She scratched me. She left scratches. I left a bruise that her boyfriend noticed. We open the windows so the lies might fly out.

Blood is the only truth. Sometimes Its so hard to keep inside of me. I know it belongs there. Full of sin, full of promises, full of her poison. The potential in every drop. Blood doesnt lie. Its for the living. It runs deep. We spill it for the most heroic and the most stupid of reasons.

 

13

Its here and all that happen was i got up and went to work. I tore the last month off the calendar hanging by my desk. 2013. Thirteen. Good, i like that number. I like where this is going.

At lunch i went to my truck, opened the hatch back and pulled down the tailgate. I hopped in, ate my lunch, read my book. I have an army blanket and pillows back there. A small cooler. Because im always road trip ready. Im parked backed in, up to a tree. A squirrel comes looking for something to eat. I share my pretzels. We stare at each other with not to much to say. "Happy new year. Im hungry." I wonder if he'll drop in tomorrow?

Im curious to know what your zombie contingency plans are?

This year im going to try and write everyday. turning the month on the calendar. Reading a book, having lunch with a squirrel. Zombies. So far its starting out well.